I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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