I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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