yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
