Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We don't watch enough power rangers
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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