This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I did not marry a roomba.
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