belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
