I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
