Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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