Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
