Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
