someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They took my balls.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
