She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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