Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
