I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so let's talk penis.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
