He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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