Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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