Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's never too late to be topless.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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