She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
