Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
