it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
