Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
