It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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