I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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