I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
