My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
