Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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