Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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