just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
