I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
