found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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