Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
