So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
