I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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