dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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