now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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