A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
