Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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