I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
