I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
