i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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