i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
