Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
