She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
