She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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