We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
