What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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