your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
