my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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