Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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