so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
