i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
