She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
