Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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