I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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