drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I AM VODKA MAN
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
