New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
