Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
