i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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