just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Say something about gay babies.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
