I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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