He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize