just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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