Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
