Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
