This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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