he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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