do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
