Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
