Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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