did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
